Binge Eating Disorder (BED)

Today on Instagram I decided to post a very personal photo. 
the top pictures are from two months ago after a few weeks of binging 
and not taking care of myself.
I didn't realize I had "BED" (binge eating disorder) until about a year ago.

This is what I said on my photo caption today:

I am TERRIFIED about posting this... But here goes nothing...

When I created this account I promised myself I would be honest with myself and those who follow me. Little did I know in less than eight weeks I would have more than 5000 people following me but nonetheless I remain committed to being completely honest on this page. As some of you know, and some of you don't, I suffer from binge eating disorder. I can go through phases where I just eat my feelings and that's exactly what happened two months ago. I went through a rough patch and decided to just eat instead of take care of myself like I usually do. I gained almost 20 pounds in a few weeks by simply letting myself eat whatever I wanted and not taking into consideration my health and wellness. I have worked my butt off for the last Six weeks to get my body back to where  it should be. It is a work in progress and I am nowhere near where I want to be or what anyone thinks is perfect but for me, my progress is perfect and I'm so proud of myself. I so badly wanted to give up two months ago And just accept the weight gain and live with it. I let my emotions get the best of me, but I am proud that I took my life back and remembered how far I have come since 210 pounds. It is so important to remember not only your own health and wellness but also your happiness. I am happier and healthier today Because I didn't let my binge eating take the best of me. I am working every day to be better than I was yesterday.

According to the Mayo Clinic: 

Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food. Almost everyone overeats on occasion, such as having seconds or thirds of a holiday meal. But for some people, overeating crosses the line to binge-eating disorder and it becomes a regular occurrence, usually done in secret.

When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating. If you have binge-eating disorder, treatment can help.

When I go through a binge, a fog comes over me and I will stop at nothing to 

obtain and consume the food I want at that very moment.

And yes, it was always done in private when I knew no one would disturb me. 

Every day is a battle with food, but I am two months binge free and I am SO proud of that.